Broken Connections
by CherriAme
Summary: -Prequel to “A Second Chance”- Ne, Kei-chan… things were going so well for us… why did you cheat on me? Was it something I did or said? Maybe… you're not into me anymore. Maybe… it’s time to go our separate ways. With a smile, this is my farewell to you.
1. Chapter 1

**Note:** Standard disclaimer applies. I do not own the songs inputted in this story either as it belongs to its rightful owner.

This takes place two years prior to "A Second Chance", so basically, it is a prequel. I wanted to try my hand at writing an angst, so... here it is.

* * *

It was just a couple of months after the nationals, in which Hyoutei had lost to Seigaku. I supposed that was to be expected… Even though there were many strong tennis players on our side, Seigaku had been more prepared than we had expected. I supposed our pride brought us to nationals; yet at the same time, I felt our pride caused us our downfall.

I exhaled deeply as I leaned against the railing, and absentmindedly watched the clouds rolling by. Usually I would be napping somewhere, and trust Kei-chan to always find me. He always does in a record time, which somehow brought a smile on my face, because the first person I would see whenever I wake up would always be him. I never did once doubt that he would not, because he has been doing it since kindergarten when we first met.

Our bond… our connection… it was special, and we both knew it. Kei-chan was, and is, the only one who was lenient on me during practice. He was the only one who lets me sleep, who lets me skip practice most of the time, and he was the only who was not harsh on me as he is to other regulars. However, our bond goes further than just tennis.

Nevertheless… I could not help but feel uneasy about something. I did not know if the reason was because of our lost, or because of something else. Nevertheless, I disregarded that thought when I realized that tomorrow… tomorrow would be our four months anniversary. I could not help but let out a grin like an idiot, and be excited about it.

My heart beats uncontrollably to the point that I could hear the thumps in my ears. I let out a snicker when my thoughts referred back to Keigo, but I immediately stopped when I realized that I might look insane in the eyes of others.

With these thoughts in mind, I headed back to my class when the bell rang. Usually, for lunch, the regulars would be eating together, but since most knew that I would be sleeping somewhere, I decided to come here to mull over some issues… especially, the issue regarding Keigo and I.

Despite the fact that I happened to be zealous most of the times, I could not help but frown when I realized that Keigo and I have been drifting apart lately. Even though I wanted to bring up that issue to him, I could not bring myself to do so. I just let out a sigh, and opted to head back to class. Sometimes, I wish that I could just sleep away, and when I wake up… my problems would disappear. A wishful thinking, I know.

* * *

"Ne, Kei-chan," I called out to him as soon as the class ended, and when he turned around, I continued, "Do you have time today to hang out?"

I looked at him hopefully, and inwardly wished that he would agree to my offer this time. I had been asking him to spend time with me lately, but he just kept rejecting. I know that he was busy, considering he is the captain of the tennis club, student body president, and on top of that, he is busy with his preparations to take over the Atobe Group. But sometimes, I wish that he would not ignore me so.

"I'm sorry Jirou," Keigo responded with a small frown, and fully turned around to look at me, "My grandmother is coming over, and I have to be there," As soon as he turned down my offer, I tuned out, and stopped listening to him.

I plastered a fake reassuring smile, and said chirpily, "Don't worry about it. I know you're really busy these days. Well then, maybe I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Thanks for being so understanding," Keigo said with gratitude, and in relieved tone. "I'll make it up to you," he added, but I just gave him a numb nod in response, and walked away. Another day that he had turned down my offer to hang out…. Why doesn't he have time for me anymore?

What happened to you, Kei-chan? Why are you being this way? I want my old Kei-chan back…

* * *

Today was our four-month anniversary since we have been together officially. I thought I should surprise Kei-chan with this present that I had made. Although it might seen like a futile attempt to salvage our relationship, but I still wanted to make an effort. Even though I might act overzealous at times, I am not one to prod, or nag at him to tell me whatever was concerning him.

Perhaps, this was the reason why I am in the situation I am in, but I trust him. Kei-chan should know that he could confide in me with whatever problems he has. However, because he is a private person who bottles up everything, it was a hard to make him tell me of his problems.

I shook my head, trying to get rid of these unhappy thoughts, and walked down the street as I readjusted the weight of my guitar. I had practiced many nights for this event, just so I could make this day a special day. Since Kei-chan had practically everything he wants, and more due to his wealth, I wanted to make our anniversary something more special. Aside from my song, I wanted to give him this handmade music box that plays the song I will be playing for him. So if he ever wanted to listen to the song, he could just open it.

It had taken me quite some time to make this, even with my older brother's help; but I was glad that we managed to finish it in time. With a smile plastered on my face, I made my way to Atobe's house, which I always called a mansion.

I finally reached to my destination, and greeted the security guard at the gate. Since I have been coming here a lot, almost all the staff working for Kei-chan, and his family knew me. I made my way through the maze that is Kei-chan's house, and made my way to his room. On the way, I met with an elderly woman, whom I assumed to be Kei-chan's grandmother because he had said that she would be coming yesterday.

I gave a formal bow towards her, and politely greeted her. Somehow, her presence commended authority, and respect, which somehow reminded me of how Kei-chan is.

"And who might you be?" she inquired sharply that somehow made me flinch.

"I'm Akutagawa Jirou, please to meet you madam," I responded politely, and steeled my nerves so that I would not just run away in fear, because her scrutinizing look sent shivers down my spines. "I'm in Atobe-kun's tennis team," I supplied helpfully.

"That sport is just a waste of time," she scoffed scornfully before she walked away. I merely stared at her retreating figure, and inwardly wondered what caused her dislike of tennis. I shook my head when I could not come up with a conclusion, and proceeded to head to Kei-chan's room.

I heard from one of the maids that he would be in his room, so I had thought I should surprise him. Instead of knocking on the door as I usually would whenever I come over, I just opened the door.

Big mistake.

I stared in shock at the scene before me, because this was not what I had been expecting to see at all. I did not know how long I was standing there in shock, until my grip on my present loosen and dropped on the ground. The 'thud' brought me back to reality, and it had also caught the attention of two other people in the room.

"Sorry," I mumbled before I ran out of the hallway, passed Kei-chan's grandmother, the staff-san, and finally out of the house. I had to get out of the premises.

The scene I just saw kept replaying in mind. Even though I knew that our relationship was shaky as of late, I did not think that he would be cheating on me behind my back. He was making out with a girl, and it even looked like he was enjoying it. What angered, and sadden me was that he did not even call out my name or tried to stop me.

"So, this is what you've been hiding from me all these times," I muttered darkly under my breath as I kicked away a harmless stone.

I wanted to scream, and shout out how unfair the situation is; yet… I could not. It was as if my throat lost its will to produce sounds, and my tears could not stop rolling down my cheeks. I wanted to rip out my heart, just because it _hurts_ so much.

'Get a hold of yourself, Jirou,' my rational state of mind chided, and continued, 'You'll be fine. You don't need him. You can survive on your own... you'll be fine,'

I somehow ended up at the park, and sat down on one of the swings. As I slowly rocked back and forth, my mind kept replaying how Atobe was on top of the girl, and how he was caressing her gently. My grip on the swings tighten unconsciously, which I was unaware of until my hands were hurting.

I let out a shaky sigh as I put down my guitar case before I unloaded the instrument. "Maybe music might help me calm down," I muttered as I adjusted the guitar strings, and began strumming a couple of notes. Before I realized my actions, I was already whispering the words even though it sounded so foreign to me.

_"Somehow I already know why you're looking down  
You're here, but you can't seem to start talking about breaking-up_

_Even though our fallen shadows on the pavement  
Are gathering together and piling up  
Right now, our feelings are drifting farther apart_

_For you, who has met another love,  
Can't find any connecting words_

_Things like 'goodbye' or 'it's the end'  
Even if you say it's a lie, our un-joined hands become cold  
We'll become strangers  
Because I'll end up embracing things like 'I'm sorry' or 'please don't cry anymore'  
So before my piled up memories turn into sorrow  
At the end, I'll say goodbye with a smile…"_

I paused in mid-string when I noticed that someone was watching me. The man walked closer to me, and introduced himself as Miyazawa Takeru, the chairman of Sony Music Entertainment.

"I can see vast amount of talent in you, just from that performance… like a rough diamond," he started as he tried to word his statements carefully, and continued, "If we can help you polish it, you'll be a star. So please consider my offer. Do you want to continue living the life you are now, or change it?"

With a polite bow, he left his business card on my guitar case, and left in the same quiet manner that was as mysterious as his arrival. Somehow, his last phrase kept ringing in my mind…

_"Do you want to continue to living the life you are now, or change it?"_

I shook my head violently, trying to clear my thoughts, and gathered my guitar before I stood up to leave. I grabbed the business card, and made my way to a trash bin to toss it, but somehow, I could not bring myself to do so.

"Do I want to change it..?" I murmured as I walked back home, just as the rain started pouring out of nowhere. "Great timing," I said sardonically as I readjusted the weight of my instrument. I stared at the business card as I contemplated what I should do. Before I realized it, I was standing in front of my house, completely drenched from the rain.

"This isn't how I planned it," I uttered softly as I tasted something salty on the tips of my tongue. It took me a couple of seconds to realize that I was crying, again. At least this time… no one will know… except the gray heaven above me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Note:** Standard disclaimer applies. I do not own the songs inputted in this story either as it belongs to its rightful owner.

* * *

"Mom, what should I do?" I questioned with a slight whine in my tone as I stared at the business card. It had only been a couple of hours since my encounter with Miyazawa-san, but a part of me already wanted to accept the offer and change my life.

'Perhaps, if I kept myself busy… I wouldn't think about _that_,' my rational side concluded. I looked at to see a small smile on my mother's face, to which I tilted my head a bit in confusion.

"Do what makes you happy, Jirou," she finally responded with a smile as she wiped her hands on her apron, and continued, "But understand that running away isn't going to solve your problem. If you think that taking this offer will make you stronger to face that problem, then you already know the answer to your dilemma,"

"What are you talking about, mom? I don't have...any problems," I responded, nearly stumbling over the last two words.

Nevertheless, my mom just gave me a sympathetic smile and responded, "I won't ask you what happened, but I just know that whatever problem you are facing now... you are clearly affected by it. If becoming an idol is your solution, then I'll completely support you,"

"Go find your happiness, son," my dad stated as he walked into the room, overhearing the conversation.

I let out a wide smile in response, and ran over to hug both my parents before I went to call Miyazawa-san to tell him the news. "Thanks mom, thanks dad!" I called out as I ran upstairs to my room.

I gave a once-glance over at the card as I took out my cell phone to dial the listed number. My hand shook in both excitement and nervousness while I waited for the call, and when a voice answered, I nearly dropped the phone.

"Miyazawa-san?" I inquired in above whisper, and gulped down my nervousness when the said person confirmed his identity. "About your offer earlier… is it still available?" I asked anxiously as I walked over to the window, and stared at the rainfalls.

I finally let out a smile at his answer, and gripped my phone tighter as I said, "Then…I'll take it. Thank you for putting me back together, and changing my life,"

_"Don't thank me just yet, boy. This road will be hard, but if it's you… I know you'll make it to the top, and I'm not just saying that,"_ he stated with a chuckle.

We exchanged some information about each other, specifically about me… such as my name, my date of birth, and so forth. Half an hour later, I finally hung up the phone, and slid down the wall with a small smile on my face.

"Starting today… I'll change, and you'll see," I promised to the rustling wind.

* * *

As per usual, I woke up early in the morning, and sat up feeling a bit dazed. Within those couple of seconds, reality slapped me in the face.

'Kei-chan… no, Atobe cheated on me,' that was my first thought as I clenched onto my blanket in a tight grip. 'I'm going to become an idol,' was my second thought as I let out a sigh.

"Jirou! Miyazawa-san is here to take you to the salon!" my mother shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

"I'll be there in a couple of minutes!" I responded as I got up and stretched for a few seconds before I headed to the bathroom.

'Oh yeah… I'm going to change my image,' I remembered as I washed my face. I grabbed my toothbrush, and toothpaste as another thought entered my mind, 'New image, and new attitude, but same name…?'

Once I freshened up, I let out a smirk at my mirror image before I left the bathroom. I quickly changed into my school uniform, grabbed my book bag, and ran down the stairs.

"Sorry for the wait," I immediately stated as I entered to the dining room where I heard various chatters, and greeted, "Good morning, everyone,"

"Aniki, is it true? You're going to become an idol?" my younger sister suddenly questioned with me with twinkles in her eyes.

"Yes," I responded as I sat down at the title, and quickly ate my breakfast.

Miyazawa-san put down his utensils as he faced my parents, and said, "I hope you won't mind that we'll be changing his image,"

"It's his choice, actually," my mom replied as she glanced at him, and then at me. "Just don't go extreme," that was all she said.

* * *

Even though my heart still felt numb, I could not help but chuckle and smirk at my mirror image. Despite the fact that it was not a total makeover, I like my new look… my curly blonde hair was straightened, I was given a temporary double eyelid via some contraptions, an earring on my right ear, and some accessories.

I loosened my tie a bit, and unbuttoned a couple of the top buttons, so that my skull necklace was showing. I let out a cold smile when Miyazawa-san parked his car in front of Hyoutei, and glanced at me expectantly.

"Thanks for the ride," I stated calmly as I left the vehicle, and closed the door.

"Jirou, I'll come pick you up after school to go over your schedule," my boss called out, and I paused for a moment before I gave him a nod in understanding. With that said, I put on my mask before I began walking to my homeroom.

I heard various whispers as I walked down the hallway, and most of them happened to be about who I was. Did I look that different? I supposed it was to be expected, perhaps; after all, I look _different_. Besides, that was the look I was going for, so that Atobe regretted doing _that_.

I let out a deeper scowl when I realized that my thoughts referred back to him. 'I'm not going to think about him, ever,' I concluded inwardly as I opened my classroom door. The chatters instantaneously stopped, and everyone stared at me, which I promptly ignored as I walked over to my seat and sat down.

'Get use to it, Jirou. You're going to be an idol, people are going to be staring at you left and right,' I told myself as I gave everyone a sharp glare, silently telling them to resume doing whatever it was they were doing before I arrived.

"I wonder who that hottie is," I heard one of my female classmates whispered rather loudly to her friends, and when they took a sneak glance at me, they instantly squealed in excitement or something.

"He's sitting at Jirou's seat," another female stated in hushed whisper that was not so hushed. "I wonder if he's Jirou… couldn't be right? Or could it?"

Luckily, the bell rang, and my homeroom teacher walked in at that moment to spare my sanity. She glanced around the room as my classmates scrambled to his or her assigned seats. She took out her attendance sheet, and began calling our names.

"It looks like Akutagawa Jirou isn't here," she stated once she reached to my name, which was before Atobe Keigo's name.

"I'm here," I responded coldly with my arms and legs crossed. I ignored the surprised cries of nearly everyone as they immediately looked at me.

"EH!!! B-but… you're…" my homeroom teacher stuttered as she looked at me. I gave a piercing gaze towards her, and a small smirk formed at the corner of my mouth.

'From this moment onward, I won't think about you,' I thought as loud chatters instantly boomed in the classroom. From the corner of my eyes, I noticed Atobe looking at me with shocked visage, which I disregarded as I plopped my elbow on the table.

* * *

It was not long before practically the whole school knew of my new image. Hyoutei, after all, is like a gossip central. As I walked down the hallway during lunch, I noticed some female students were taking pictures of me with their cell phones. I inwardly sighed, and told myself to ignore those activities as I headed to my destination.

"I'll make you regret your actions, _Atobe-san_," I muttered coldly under my breath as I rounded the corner, and headed towards a music room. "This time…" I said softly while I opened the door, silently noting that there is no one except for the grand piano.

"I'll make you regret dismissing me," I stated as I closed the door behind me, and made sure to lock it. As I approached to the piano, I loosened my tie further, and sat down in front of the piano. I let out a deep sigh before I opened the piano cover, and pressed a couple of keys to test the notes.

Usually, I would be having lunch with the regulars, but I did not want to face Atobe after the event yesterday. I also did not want to nap somewhere, in fear that my thoughts would refer back to yesterday.

I closed my eyes, and concentrated on the music before me as I began playing a classical piece. The fast and slow pace that this piece required reminded me of…

'No, I can't think about that,' I shook my head as I refocused on playing, and made sure that I was hitting all the accurate pitch at an exact time.

I nearly let out a smile when it was three minutes into the piece, and silently noted that it was nearing climax of the song. It was getting faster, and faster as the second passed by; despite my fingers getting tired, I continued playing.

"A minute to go," I murmured as if to encourage myself, and let out a sigh of relief when I finished. I did not realize that I was crying until a few tears splashed on the piano keys. With a shaky breath, I slowly wiped away the tears, only to have more spilled on the keys.

"Come on, Jirou… you can do this," I told myself as I closed my eyes while I slowly inhaled and exhaled.

After a couple of minutes, I reopened my eyes, and let out a small smile when I realized that my tears stopped. As I wiped my tear-stained cheeks, I could not help but feel refreshed. "Everything begins from this point onward," I quietly stated as I stood up from my seat, just as the lunch period ended.

"I'll just have to embrace and believe in the joy within this sadness," I murmured while I walked out of the music room, and headed back to my class.


	3. Chapter 3

**Note:** Standard disclaimer applies. I do not own the songs inputted in this story either as it belongs to its rightful owner.

* * *

I did not go to school for the next couple of weeks, because of my training, and hectic schedule to debuting. Normally, Miyazawa-san would not have let anyone debut under such short notice, he insisted that I do. According to him, I made such progress in my vocal lessons (although, I think it was because I was overly zealous in the past that I was able to hit high notes, and hold it) that it would be a shame not to share it with the world. I think he was trying to guilt-trip me or something…

I let out a sigh as I glanced at the lyric sheet, and replayed the song in my mind. Despite the fact that I already knew the lyric, I was still nervous; after all, this is my first time singing in front of a large crowd.

"Relax, kiddo," someone behind me advised. I quickly turned around to see two of my senpai from the agency, Takahashi Shigeru and Kobayashi Haruka. I gave them a polite bow, but they just chuckled at my action.

"Relax, if you're nervous, it'll show in your singing," Takahashi-senpai suggested as he smiled at me, and introduced himself. "But you can call me Shige, and him Haruka. No need for formalities,"

"Hai," I answered with a nod, and added as an afterthought, "My stage name is JIROU, but my real name is Akutagawa Jirou. Please don't tell anyone though…"

"I know, Miyazawa-san told us. You must have a lot of talent and potential if he is going to let you debut this quickly, and making you an opening act to our concert," Haruka-senpai stated calmly as he eyed at me in a scrutinizing manner.

"Maa… maa… Haruka, don't scare the kid," Shige-senpai intervened with a chuckle, and looked at me with a grin, "Show us what you can do, Jirou," with that, he pushed me towards the stage and to the awaiting crowd.

I tried to calm my wavering nerves as I listened to the instrumental music for about twenty-five seconds, and reopened my eyes to see the audience looking at me curiously.

_"Those honest eyes were  
By my side for so very long, and now…  
My heart shakes, and it won't stop  
It would have been good if I took you away,"_

I began the song steadily as I looked at each listener, and let out a smile as I continued to the next verse. I willed myself not to think about my situation, despite how this song portrayed it so well.

_"You know, you're so close that I can feel you  
The uneasy emotions that you hide behind those clouds, ah  
You, who can smile like the light,  
How long have you needed me?_

_ So, if you know something  
See, if you say something, I can meet you  
Even if it is a thought that we can't return to.  
If we take notice, the world that belongs to the two of us pours down  
And in one drop, it changes and disappears."_

I walked over to the front of the stage as the tempo increases, and prepared myself for the next verse.

_"To you, because I want to tell you this  
For you, these feelings of my love, one more time." _

I could tell that the audience was impressed by how well and how long I could hold the notes consecutively. Even I was impressed by myself as I continued to sing, but I quickly shook the thought away as I continued the song.

_"I want to be near you  
Even if I have no way of telling you  
Let's embrace and believe in the joy within the sadness"_

Suddenly, I had a sense of déjà vu as I sang that last line; nevertheless, I moved onto the next verse. With practiced eased, I held on the note effortlessly, which was probably because I was used to fanboying over challenging tennis players.

_"To you, because I want to send this to you  
For you, so that I am never separated from you again_

_For you…"_

The reaction was instantaneous, to tell you the truth. Nearly all the audience stood up, and applauded for my work, which I was truly happy for. I gave them a polite bow before I introduced the main stars of tonight's show.

* * *

I let out a sigh as I stepped out of my manager's car, and walked towards Hyoutei. It had been about eighteen days since I was last here, and since Miyazawa-san knows the headmaster rather well, I was excused to be absent for my debut, which was a week ago. Since then, I had been at various radio shows that my senpai-tachi hosted to promote my idol self. I also had to attend myriads of lessons that included but not limited to fashion, vocal, dance, posture, and public speaking.

Today, instead of looking like my idol persona, I had reverted to my usual image… only my hair remained straightened because of the hair spray my hair stylist used for yesterday's event. Despite many washes, my hair remained straight; hopefully, I would not be recognized, and that people would not make a connection... even though I had dressed up as my idol persona a few weeks ago when I first had a makeover. According to Miyazawa-san, it was so that I would be used to my new image; but I think it was because he wanted to flaunt to the whole world that I was a new idol, or something. Nevertheless, I finally concluded that my boss is weird.

I swung my book bag over my shoulder, and headed towards the main building. My hectic schedule had finally allowed me to come back to school. I paused in my mid-step, and stared at the running regulars from the stop of the bleachers. Sakaki-kantoku and Atobe stood by the sideline to oversee the morning practice, whilst I noted how the main regulars were chatting as they ran. When they finished with their laps, Atobe called out for the regulars to gather so that he could further give out instructions.

As they walked back to gather around the coach, and the captain, my gaze met with some of the regulars. I let out a defeated sigh when I realized that I was discovered, and instead of staying to watch the rest of the practice, I merely turned away to head back to where I was originally going.

"Jirou-senpai! Wait!" I heard Ootori's panic cry, which was immediately followed by thundering footsteps. I did not have to turn around to realize that the main regulars were standing behind me.

"Why haven't you been coming to practice for nearly three weeks?" Shishido inquired in a disapproved tone.

I did not answer for a few seconds as I fished out something from my book bag, and then finally responded, "Because tennis, to me, is painful. I was going to wait until this afternoon to hand this to you, Sakaki-sensei, but since you're here, I'll just give this to you now," With that said, I handed the coach a letter, and gave him a polite bow before I walked away.

"Akutagawa-kun, are you sure?" Sakaki-sensei's inquiry made me paused in my mid-step. The regulars looked at me in anticipation, as I turned around halfway before I responded.

"Yes,"

"Why?" Atobe inquired as he approached towards the group. I gave him a once over subtly and my frown grew deeper when I realized that he did not even looked like he was remorseful for his sinful action, or that he looked he missed me.

"Because I can't stand you," I responded coldly and immediately turned away when I saw a brief hurt expression on his face.

* * *

I sat in the classroom as I tuned out the lecture, and stared at the clear sky. It was nearing Christmas, and in a couple of months, we'll be high school students. With a soft sigh, I returned my attention back to the lecture, and pretended that I was attentive. I began doodling on the edge of my notebook as I inwardly noted that I have a collaboration with Shige-senpai, and Haruka-senpai for a Christmas special.

The fact that those two are popular idols, and I am not… I was rather surprised that they wanted to sing with me. According to them, I might be just as, if not more, popular than they are in near future. "After all, it takes time for the talent to blossom so that everyone is aware," Haruka-senpai had once told me.

I supposed that is true since there was no way I would be popular overnight. Even though, I had received a couple of offers to be in a commercial for a cell phone company, and a candy company. It was definitely challenging to act in front of the cameras, but it was well worth the experience, and the paycheck I received afterwards. Besides, I even received a new cell phone in return, and I see my commercials being broadcast everywhere.

I let out a tired yawn, and wiped away a couple of tears that escaped when I yawned. As I looked around the classroom to see that everyone was paying attention the lecturing teacher, and not towards me, I noticed from the corner of my eyes that a couple of the students were looking at me. I glanced down at the doodle I had done, and realized that it was a verse of lyrics.

_'Why don't you tell me the truth? Instead of covering it up with smiles  
Why don't you tell me goodbye? I'd rather you put me at ease  
From the bottom of my heart  
I am still stuck on you, so loving you.  
Why don't you say goodbye?'_

I stared at the lyrics I have written with a twitch, and finally let out a soft sigh. 'Come on, Jirou. You have got to stop thinking about him,' I scolded inwardly as I moved to erase the lyrics, but I could not bring myself to do so.

As soon as the bell rang, I quickly gathered my belongings before neither Atobe nor Oshitari had a chance to confront me. I stuffed my textbook in my book bag, and closed it as I headed towards the door, just as I heard someone called out my name.

"Jirou, wait," Atobe called out as I walked out of the classroom.

I gave him a sharp glare before I continued walking out of the main building, and towards my waiting manager. As I sat in the passenger seat, I clenched onto the front of my shirt, and silently wondered why my heart hurts, and why it felt heavy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Note:** Standard disclaimer applies. I do not own the songs inputted in this story either as it belongs to its rightful owner.

* * *

I let out a tired sigh as I leaned back against my seat, and wondered when this will end. When this pain will finally go away… and when I will be freed from this heartache. I was exhausted from the all the singing, and dancing I had to do for the New Year countdown.

Since I was the newest member of the agency, I had to give a medley of all the songs I had sung so far. We had also done a 'solo change' where solo artists sing other solo artists' songs. Luckily, or unluckily, depending on one's view, I had to sing a female artist's song.

Then out of nowhere, I heard a familiar instrumental music, and then my voice.

_"I open my eyes to another day  
To things that I have known, things that happened every day  
I feel there's a shadow creeping up on me  
The wind blowing through the streets  
Telling me something I don't see…"_

"Why are you playing that again, Shige-senpai?" I grumbled as I glared at the man sitting in the backseat. I was sitting in the passenger seat, while Haruka-senpai is the driver. The three of us happened to live in the same apartment complex; thus Shige-senpai volunteered to give me a ride home… before he realized that he hitched a ride from Haruka-senpai that morning.

As for why I am living in the apartment complex, Miyazawa-san told my parents that it would easier for me so that the media and paparazzi would not bother them. Somehow, that convinced my parents to let me be independent. One would think that my parents would not agree to it that easily, but they did... weirdly enough.

_"Draw the line, and turn the time  
Taking back what was mine  
Now I could change almost anything  
Hold tight, search for the light  
Do I know what's wrong or right?  
Put the pieces back to where they belong," _

"It's amazing how fast you've grown since you entered the agency," Haruka-senpai commented as he turned left at the traffic light.

"What amazes is your voice," Shige-senpai stated with a smirk as he slightly turned up the volume, and continued, "You can easily sing high notes, and hold it. Not a lot of people in this agency can do both,"

_"In my heavy heart, I see the truth where no scar ever heals  
They never fade away… each and every one…  
But it's going to be all right  
Light comes after every night," _

"How far will you climb on this ladder?" Haruka-senpai inquired as he briefly glanced at me, and turned right at the intersection.

"As far as I can," I answered with a shrug, and listened to my singing that Shige-senpai had recorded somehow. "I'm willing to do almost anything at this point to numb the pain within me. But hopefully in a couple of years… I'll be ready to face them again,"

"I bet in a couple of years, you'll be really famous," Shige-senpai chuckled as he put the song on repeat, and said with a grin, "I am so going to burn this song into my MD player. You should put this as a bonus track in your debut CD,"

"You're weird, senpai," I mumbled as I stared out the window with a ghost of a smile gracing on my face. "But thank you for sticking by me,"

* * *

I let out a loud groan as I woke up to the sun creeping in from my window, and groggily grab my alarm clock from the night stand to glance at the time. When I noticed that it was only five in the morning, I silently debated if I should go back to sleep and wake up a couple of hours later.

I groaned in frustration a couple of minutes afterwards, when I realized that I could not go back to sleep. With a sigh, I threw off my covers and blankets, shivering from the cold and made my way to the bathroom. Despite the fact that I only had four hours of sleep, I was wide awake.

I nearly fell asleep while I showered because of the warm water, and its comfortableness. Once I felt refreshed, I quickly did my morning routine, and then dressed in casual attire instead of the traditional one since I did not have one on hand. I quickly slipped on a dark blue jeans, white button-up shirt, and white jacket with light brown fur around the collar and the hood.

Once done, I grabbed my wallet, my cell phone, and my keys before I slipped on my black boots and then left the house. I glanced at my cell phone for time, and realized that it was only 5:37 AM. I let out a sigh, and slowly made my way to my house.

* * *

By around seven o'clock, my family and I made our way to the shrine. I suddenly felt out of place, because I was the only one who was wearing western style clothes; and my family was dressed in traditional garments. I let out a soft sigh, and wondered if I should go back and change my attire.

"Aniki, you sounded awesome at the countdown," my younger sister chimed as she grabbed onto my hand, and continued, "I can't believe you're already this good even though you just started,"

"Thanks," I smiled gently in response as I grabbed her hand a bit tighter, and scolded lightly, "It's not healthy to be up that late, you know,"

"But I wanted to see your performance live," she whined in response. My older brother, and my parents just chuckled at our interaction but did not say anything to our conversation. Perhaps, they were just amused to see how I would handle the situation.

"Maa," I started but quickly stopped when I saw the Hyoutei regulars standing a few yards away from us. I immediately looked away from their gazes, and continued with my speech, "It's not healthy for your skin if you're lacking sleep. Not that I should say that since I woke up early today, but still… you know what I mean,"

"Jirou," I heard Atobe called out to me when we passed by each other, but I ignored his bidding.

"Anyways, it's good that we're spending time like this," I stated as if I was not interrupted at all. "We should do this more often," I added with a smile to my family, completely ignoring the existence of the Hyoutei regulars.

I was going to forget them… even if it meant shutting them out of my life.

That is my New Year's resolution...


End file.
